28/05/2009 by Chris.

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With blogs about where people are heading next year, “A State Affair” reminding me of what i’ve left and my boss asking whose moving on and when. I am left with my hands and a keyboard to get all thoughts, feelings and problems out onto the blog site to blog a blog that explains to the twisted cyclone of desicions hopefully leading to a conclusion.

I saw a film last night, “History Boys” which purely zonked me out for work with their desicions dictating their future happiness with where they are going, do they want to go? all this work and its finnally over knowing that they are moving forward at different speeds and splitting up to start a standard life of education, job and debt.

It was school night coincidently last night at work and i had all my old school lot come in drinking extreme amounts just days before some of their exams. They have made their desicions that have been handed to them by teachers through the “Choose a door A,B or C,” all leading to the same destination of education that is what they want you to want to do.

We have all been in that situation in life where others make our desicions, but the same choices i was given two years ago were discarded immediatly to choose “Door D” for desertion of the schools wishes. I am happy with that door as it means i had to choose my own path and it means i had to research about where i would be treated as an adult, working for a high grade and it had to have the performing arts. Well this led me to the Miskin with its image of passing on the parcel.

History Boys - Hector: “Pass the parcel. That’s sometimes all you can do. Take it, feel it and pass it on. Not for me, not for you, but for someone, somewhere, one day. Pass it on, boys. That’s the game I want you to learn. Pass it on.”

I now have the same doors infront of me again except this time there is no “D door” i have found. I’m not going to drama school next year and i dont see myself staying in education but i dont want to work, i’m worried that i will make a rash desicion that i will regret and be too bogged down to pull myself out as soon as i would want to.

I had always thought in my first year that leaving the Miskin would be a smooth process and it would be a an easy task to find out what i wanted to do during “The Good War” process but i kept my head in the process and refused to look for ideas for choices.

This film pulsated in my mind, even when i woke today, i lay there trying to figure out my plans i thought i had for a good hour, staring out the window, trying to piece parts together to make them work… There are so many choices from bunking off for a year repping to finding a job as an actors agents assistant without the grades preffered by this business within the next month while putting out this last show aiming for the best possible part i can get.

My plans are thrown into piles which are so far apart that i dont know what to do. The online research I have done have split me into so many minds that i’m now lost.

Hector: The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.

HOW THINGS AND THOUGHTS HAVE CHANGED IN JUST ONE YEAR!!!!!!!

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28/05/2009 by Chris.

1. How far have I come?
2. Is it enough to walk away confidently?
3. What have I learnt?
4. What is next to learn and how?
5. Do I have regrets?
6. What is my biggest achievement?
7. How have I worked within the company?
8. Who do I work best with and why?
9. What do I want to forget about this year?
10. Have I achieved my goals?
11. Am I doing what I want to do?
12.  Whats missing in my life?
13. Have I siezed opportunities
14. Do I take enough risks?
15.  Have I given up too easily?
16.  Do I work only when I want something?
17.  Have I smiled more than frown?
18. Do I ask enough questions?
19. How much time have I wasted?
20. Am I now ready for next year?

I do feel I have more to ask myself.

I hope that I can answer these confidently after the final show.

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07/04/2009 by Shenka.

hey everyone, i don’t know if you all read the blogs and stuff anymore but this is me!

I’m having some problems, financial ones, relative ones, and personal ones. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to see the year out at the Miskin. This isn’t because I have been influenced or anything like that, or because I hate anyone, its purely because I don’t think I’m going to be able to afford it, as well as other things. I know your probably thinking oh she lives 10minutes away. It makes no difference.

 Anyway, i think you all have a right to know what I’m feeling, even though I think you all knew anyway.

Happy Easter x

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05/04/2009 by Danielle.

I see myself to be the person who will shout at the top of her lungs if I am that passionate about something , if I believe in something that much…I will fight to the very end…I find it very difficult to let things go when I feel that there’s something worth fighting for. I believe that we as people have to go through certain things in life, we have to feel hurt, we have to experince the crap that at the time breaks us…but we grow and we get stronger and we use these experinces to push us through life and I know I use them to push me towards my passion, I let these things drive me and who wouldn’t? 

(hope this is ok if not let me know)

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17/03/2009 by Christina.

Does there come a point in life where you can’t go any further?

Having just come from a successful show, a big learning process, a process which stripped me as an actor and literally paraded my strengths, my weaknesses to my company, my audience and most importantly myself; has left me feeling I have reached something I can no longer develop.
I remember my very first set of strengths and weaknesses given to me by Robbie, Gav and Neil just after our TIE auditions. At the time, my strengths seemed much less important than my weaknesses, which left me shattered. I was told I had such a high level of vanity that I set myself barriers and refused to go beyond them. Unless I looked like Keira Knightley (which clearly I don’t) I have no reason to worry about what I look like. I was told that I had hit a peak and could go no further. The thing that hurt me the most was the realisation that I wasn’t perfect, and I had known it all along. I knew I wasn’t the best looking person, or the most talented, and I knew I never pushed myself harder than I had to, and I had always been able to get away with it…I had been caught out.
It seems strange to look back and admit that I don’t know what my strengths were, I remember one was having the ability to play characters with great weight and passion, and the talent to portray a wide variety of characters, both comedic and straight. But they meant nothing to me, and it’s taken me another two years to realise that I missed out on so many opportunities because I was (apparently) beyond pushing myself or taking a risk which could mean I would be exposed.
Process after process, show after show, I have tried to push the boundaries, and become less vain, which I felt I never really succeeded at until now. The Laramie Project has taught me so much about myself as a person and an actor, and I have completely overcome my weaknesses. Which now makes me realise that I have no goal… have I hit a point where I can go no further? Where do I progress from now? Where do you go when you have reached your target?

Obviously I should be making new targets, finding my strengths and weaknesses…but where do you start? I’m petrified that I’m going to turn into a big pile of nothingness, never progressing and never learning about myself…have I really learnt all there is to know?

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16/03/2009 by Christina.

So, its clear none of us have posted on here for a while, as we are waiting for our new PDC site to be set up, however, thought I’d thank the first years for their reviews, they are very much appreciated. It’s great to know what people think, and although some of you have admitted that you were left slightly confused or unimpressed, its good to have an opinion.
We appreciate the reviews, and will hopefully get our evaluations up on here soon, so you can see how we felt about the piece. It was a very strong, powerful piece of theatre which I feel has the old marmite factor, of either loving or hating. A show like The Laramie Project isn’t always everyones cup of tea, when you are watching actors that have been stripped of acting, animation and a lot of colour it can be difficult, but you were a very respectful, welcoming audience. I feel quite saddened by the fact that I haven’t blogged through this process, as I would have loved for you to know how we were all getting on, the ups and downs we faced on the rehearsal floor, so I have let myself down in that part…so finishing off a (what I thought was quick and easy but turned out to be a bit lengthy) blog, good luck with your TIE, I look forward to supporting you. Please blog so we can keep on track with your progress!
Thanks again

Christina

Ps - Robbie please unlock me, so I can comment first year blogs?!
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28/02/2009 by Chris.

Ok so i got the messages Christina and Shenka, thank you

so i want to know everything

everything

everything

how did the set look, how was sound, music, dances, lighting, bows, certificates, faces of the kids, costumes? everyone, Everything! hehe

(Oh Yeh Please)

.C.

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20/02/2009 by Jamie.

Anyone wanna enlighten me with how I can comment on the TIE actors and 2nd year blogs please, cause I can’t register on the TIE and I can’t get a new password for the 2nd year blogs. And someone please get back to me cause I’m fed up with feeling separate from the rest of my theatre Also Robbie please can you tell me how I can set up a PDC website for us lot thank you

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19/02/2009 by alanbower.

Well….the floor has nearly been painted…..I decided to add some texturing…hope you don’t mind…spalllered some of the grey into the purple and the purple into the grey…think it looks a bit nicer to be honest!

Here is a link to our painting day…..

http://production.miskintheatre.com/02/spectaculareor-however-you-speall-it-alanbower/2009/

Design……signing over, out and upwards!

P.S. - Anyone know where my name has gone in the “categories” list…..have I been knocked down from admin to mere poster!!! grrrrrrrr

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15/02/2009 by Delmont-lee Seager.

Wow, what a year so far and still the best is yet to come…

I feel that I need to get many things off my chest. The one place I turned to…’Ye Olde Blog Site’.

This year, I feel as if I have grown from strength to strength. I have actually pulled my finger out, worked hard, read various texts and improved my own strengths and personal goals in and out of the theatre. And yet, I am serverly unsatisfied.

It is so easy to be brain-washed, manipulated and lead. The result of these foolish distractions has lead to vanity, laziness and self-indulgence. I have become the product of society. I have been inspired by many different people and events, from famous idols to my own small company. Whilst I am admiring these people, I have allowed myself to fall into the trap of confusion.

I have been confused about myself as a person, an actor, an athlete, a son, a brother and the list goes on. I have tried to become something I am not, I have basically stolen the star that lies within people I admire. I have used all these different strengths from all these different people and have made a bomb. I have no real control over these strengths and now they are hitting me in the face one by one. slap. Slap. SLAP. SHLAP!

Never have I prepared for a show like I have ‘The Laramie Project’ and I am determined to keep this hard work up, because what I brought with me to my audition was me. Nothing else. And I got the outcome I wanted. I am so scared of not standing out, not being different, not being great, that I am slowly allowing myself to become the complete opposite. I want to work hard and make these performances ones to remember.

Likewise, I have never been given the learning curve of watching myself from the outside, like I have been able to do with ‘What A Spectaculaire Mess!’ This piece of Community Theatre is something I will learn a valuable lesson from. It is about working as a community. A collective of people striving and trying for the same thing.

Throughout this year I have slowly pushed myself away from everyone I possibly could. I have such a variety of emotions running through me, I am mentally fucking up the simplicity of it all.

Things become difficult when you make them difficult.

So hello, goodbye and see ya later!

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